To all my friends…

My heart won this argument. So I am taking a chance to share what is in my heart and on my mind.

To my all of my friends… I have been listening, watching, and taking your comments and feelings to heart! I haven’t posted anything about George Floyd’s death or the events that have unraveled before our eyes until now. I wanted to write a social media post but my gut and heart both said to shut up. What do I know about being black? What could I possibly say that would change people’s minds? Or heal the deep wounds that have been inflicted on people of color for centuries? Yet I don’t want my silence to be misread as lack of care or anger as to what is happening in our nation.

I will not pretend that I understand the depth of the pain or trauma black people and people of color have experienced, but I am here to listen and to learn. I will not proclaim that I have a solution to the systemic racism that is rabid in our country but I want to do something more than be a bystander who isn’t racist. I will not argue with people who’s minds are narrow and ugly but I will teach my students that until you have lived in another person’s skin you shouldn’t judge them. I will teach them to embrace the stories and experiences of others in order to be open-minded and empathetic.

I know one thing for sure… we can no longer be color blind. I have seen people post they will never see color… I was raised that way too… My parents taught me to love and respect everyone no matter their race, circumstances, or background. A few years ago, I sat in a room with men and women of all different races and backgrounds and talked about racism. They taught me by sharing their personal experiences. All of us need to understand that unless we recognize color… we don’t really see the whole person. We can’t understand who they are or what life is truly like for them in America.

Their honesty and stories remain with me till this day… I see you my friends. My heart aches for all you have suffered. The fear you feel every day is unjust and I hear your voices in my heart and my head. Sometimes the voices are so loud I want to scream or kick something because the America I live in is not the same for all citizens. I understand your anger as much as a women who is white can.

This is NOT the country we pretend it to be. It is not filled with liberty and justice for all. Instead it is filled with fear and hate for people who are different than me. I don’t always know what to say or do, but I am learning. We all need to learn, ask questions, and speak up when we see an injustice in order to be better humans.

Being uncomfortable and having honest conversations can begin to change things but only if we are recognizing our own fears and biases. Talking about race is hard but it is necessary. We need to listen more, reflect, process, and look in the mirror. We can’t be part of the solution if we are doing all the talking. That’s why I waited so long to share my thoughts. But to all my friends who don’t have the same privileges as I do, I want you to know that I see you, I hear you, and I am here with you.